


Garlic is the Food of Love

by qwerty



Category: Merlin (TV) RPF
Genre: Crack, Fluff, M/M, Romance, twilight - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-16
Updated: 2013-01-16
Packaged: 2017-11-25 17:48:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/641415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qwerty/pseuds/qwerty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What garlic means to Colin and Bradley.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Garlic is the Food of Love

**Author's Note:**

> With reference to the interview in which Bradley mentions Colin's garlic breath, someone said that he must have been close to smell the garlic.

Bradley laughs every time he watches the Twilight movies, which is pretty much once a week. Colin isn't a fan, but you know, who cares. If Bradley watched soap operas and cried into a hanky every evening, Colin would still love him, especially when he is done and switches off the tv and dvd player like they're responsible environmentally concerned adults, then finds Colin who is either reading on the sofa or checking the contents of their fridge (mainly to make sure they have enough milk).

And he wrestles Colin to the ground, or sofa, or bed, delighting in overpowering him with his greater physical strength (though Colin has made it tougher for him this year and even turned the tables a few times, to Bradley's flushed delight). It's a little like a rougher, hotter version of the horseplay they enact for Merlin, and there is no director to yell 'cut' when they get overexcited.

"Marry me, Colin, or we can't fuck," he growls into Colin's ears while he pins Colin and shoves his hand into Colin's pants and alternately squeezes and strokes him, but never enough to let him come. "Make an honest man of me." 

Colin always struggles to decide between laughing like a loon and being ridiculously turned on, even if Bradley's just being stupid and making fun of the movies. It usually ends when Colin calls him a wanker and pushes him off so he can finish himself properly, and then he sits back and watches Bradley wank himself until he comes all over Colin and they stumble into the shower to rinse off and then fall into bed together.

But one day, they are allowed to leave the set early, after a long night of filming, Bradley leaving first, and when Colin gets to their flat a little later, Bradley is changing his shirt by the window and... it's not just his hair that glows in the sun. All of Bradley is illuminated gold, shimmering softly like he is a tacky icon in a gift store covered in gold dust, or if he rolled about in body shimmer.

"Bradley?" Colin asks, stunned, and Bradley yelps and pulls a t-shirt on, and the glimmer dies. "What's going on? I thought you always treated the movies as a joke."

Bradley turns his back on Colin, looking ashamed. "They are. But like the Bram Stoker books, there are truths mixed in with the lies, to confuse people, so no one would take us seriously. 

Colin doesn't know what to say to that, but they're both tired and turn in without their usual teasing and games, and the small single bed they share feels cold, even with Bradley in it. They lie together silently, staring fixedly at the ceiling until they fall asleep.

The next day's scenes are separate, and Colin has to rush off in the morning before Bradley wakes to get to the make-up department and let them turn him into Dragoon, after which he has to sit for even more hours after he finishes shooting to get it all off, after which he is tired and stressed and not made any more pleased by the discovery that the only vegetarian option left at the craft table is scraping the bottom of a tray of pasta salad and ending up with almost more pesto and garlic than pasta, and then after that he can't even bring himself to eat more than a couple of mouthfuls of the cold, garlicky mess.

When he finally gets back to the flat, he is surprised at the door by Bradley, who doesn't say anything, just leans forwards and kisses him. And recoils.

"What?" he says blurrily, wondering if he hallucinated the hours in the make-up chair and still looks like Dragoon.

"Is the fact that I am a vampire really so horrible? You had to go eat an entire bunch of garlic to keep me away?" Bradley demands while Colin blinks at him in confusion. "Just so you know, garlic doesn't really work, but I get the message. I won't bother you again."

"What are you talking about?" Colin asks, trying to remember if he should put down his backpack at the sofa or in the room. Garlic, garlic, he thinks about it, then rubs his face with a sigh and recoils from himself. 

"That pasta salad was horrible. Do we have anything in the fridge I can eat? I'll settle for your loaf-ends," he sighs, knowing that Bradley always cuts the crusty, chewy ends off his baguette and refuses to eat them but can't bring himself to throw them away, leaving them to harden into bricks in the fridge.

"Pasta salad?" Bradley asks. He takes the backpack from Colin, and Colin notices that the latest Twilight movie is playing on Bradley's laptop, and Bella and Edward are rolling around in a pond or something.

"I'm really hungry," Colin says, feeling pathetic, and as Bella tries to drown Edward (is that what was happening? he can't tell), Bradley puts aside the backpack and pulls Colin up to look at him properly. "And I do want to marry you," he adds, because that's what Bradley asks every time he watches Twilight.

Bradley's eyes turn all soft gold and blue at once, like a clear sunny sky, and he takes Colin to the kitchen and makes him vegetable soup from a can, and Colin soaks his loaf ends in them to make them edible, and when he's feeling revived enough, Bradley goes on one knee, takes out a ring box, and takes out the cockring inside and slides it on Colin, and rides him till dawn breaks.

* * *

"So how was it like working with Colin?" asks the overenthusiastic journalist, who looks like she might possibly have porny fanfiction about them on her laptop (the wallpaper is of Arthur showing Merlin his gloved fist), and Bradley grins.

"Well, Colin’s a vegetarian, so he eats a lot of garlic and things, that can make it difficult to work with him..." he starts, nudging Colin's knee with his while Colin ducks his head and blushes.


End file.
